I have been on quite an emotional ride recently. What has been weighing heavily on my heart and mind involves a slice from my personal life. Without going into details, Adam, my partner for the past year, and I have decided to part ways. But i want to remain good friends.The past three weeks have been a tremendously painful period, feelings of empathy mixed with remorse and guilt. The impulse to burst into tears would hit me sporadically throughout the day. I know how lucky I am to have a man who tends to everything I need. is willing to do things out of his comfort zone and wants to grow with me but I often feel like I am dragging him along.
Being a photo-journalist is a very rewarding job but it leaves me traveling most of the year. Whenever I am home I want and expect him to drop everything and that isnt fair of me. When I was in college had similar feelings and had the chance to end things but I knew that Alex would shut me out of his life. I couldn't imagine not sharing every single part of my day with him and vice versa. I have met someone while traveling that travels as much as I do and has artistic interest like me. I would no longer have to feel like i am dragging him to art shows or other activities I love and I wouldn't have to pretend to like Alex's family. This would have defiantly been easier had I had done this years ago but i KNEW something like this would happen.
I will be home in one meet and until then i feel its best if I give Alex some distance and really think about the decision I will make.Ultimately being honest is the most important thing. I will ask him to meet me at a restaurant and tell him how I have been feeling and see if eh has been feeling the same way. I will stay clear about talking about the other guy because I don't find that necessary since we are currently just friends. I will be as compassionate as I can be because I want to stay friends and my family loves him. This will not be easy...
No comments:
Post a Comment